Adoptee…
Adoptee…
I see you.
I see you.
I see you asking questions about your birth family.
I see you wondering if the curve of your nose, or the athletic ability that runs through your veins mirrors that of the family who is a distant fairy tale in your mind.
I see you struggling with parts of yourself—to scared that the questions which arise will bring hurt and discomfort to the family who raised you, nurtured you and provided for you.
But.
May I gently remind you that seeking and asking question about your origin in no way undermines your family?
May I gently speak to that longing your heart to be fully known and explore the deepest of questions?
Because no matter how much nurture and love there is in this world—there is this life-sized hole etched in the very center of your being knowing that even in the oddest of spaces where you should be celebrating and present your mind wanders…
It wanders wondering what she looks like? What does she speak like?
What is he thinking? Does he imagine what I’m like?
Do they feel this gapping hole inside longing to see the you as well? Do they struggle for the one child that regardless of the circumstance was placed for adoption?
Those feelings of others and the forcing you to quiet your heart will never fully quelch the desire to know.
And it’s scary isn’t it? Because before they put their doubts in your mind you had to switch your brain to show up and comfort them instead of finding the safety you needed. The safety to even explore your feelings of finding this person who once held you closely in her heart for nine months and had the gut wrenching decision to place you in the arms of a family she didn’t know in hopes that you would be loved whole-heartedly by another who would see you as their own…
It is so courageous to ask questions. It is so courageous to tread into those deepest parts within you that you fear others will see. It is in the treading that the possibility of being fully known is encountered.
